A Little Hodge Podge

I went through some unfinished bits I had started to write and decided to post the good parts for your reading pleasure. I hope you enjoy.

I Need A Shower
Have you ever noticed that you always seem to run out of hot water, but there is never a shortage of cold water? Never in my life have I had to say “Honey, thanks for using up all the cold water! Now I can’t take a shower for like another hour.” Sure there are times when the cold water won’t turn on or isn’t working so your shower is scolding hot. But I bet if you leave that fucker on for a bit, it will cool down. It never seems to work that way with cold water.

Sometime I Think I’m Strange
Some people find me weird or strange and I am ok with that. Fuck‘em. They probably have a screw loose themselves. It is only when I personally find myself to be weird or strange is when I start to get concerned. Like when I talk to myself with out realizing it until the conversation with myself has gone a little too far. The other day when I was looking for a clean pair of pants to wear, I questioned myself, aloud mind you, about how good the pants were in the form of a Wizard of Oz reenactment. “Are you a good pair of pants? Or are you a bad pair of pants?” To which I replied “Why, I’m not a pair of pants at all!”

Loud And Clear
Oh damn! Someone gave me a microphone. It’s all over now, you know that right. I am in control. He who speaks the loudest is in command. Anyone with an amplified voice rules over everyone. It is a fact…. and an actual law (I think). It states, with-in the Amplified Voice law, that there are degrees of leadership. For however much louder your voice is over the other person, and the more people you can reach, determines how powerful you are. There by creating a chain of command, if you will.

Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself
Don’t you just love being afraid all the time? Don’t you just love living in fear? Our government with the help of our media has gotten the general public to be afraid anything and everything. And the worse part about it is that if there was nothing to fear, they would find a way to make us be afraid of that. News reports would be something like this: “Could this lack of nothing to fear mean that we should be on high alert? Does this mean something bad is going to happen? Find out next as Bob discusses every possible way to die!”

What Does It Mean?
I found this one sentence all by itself in a single “Untitled Document”:

Watching a really crazy movie because a documentary told me too.  

I am not sure what it means or what I was talking about, but it must have been really important for me to make a note of it. I am sure the fate of the world has something to do with this sentence. The clue is in the word “too” and its misuse. I’m sure of it!

I’ll Have What He’s Having
The majority of our society is nothing but lemmings. Most people will believe anything you present to them in a professional way, i.e. the media. And half of those people will buy anything that is presented to them by celebrities and entertainers. Case in point: Have you noticed that for the past few years when a particular liquor is mentioned in a popular song it becomes the thing that everyone thinks that they have to buy and drink? That would be an awesome power to have! If it was left up to me, I would have people drinking some nasty fucked up shit. I seriously think I could have quite a few people up in the club sippin’ on a bottle of Pennzoil or Pine Sol on ice! And you know the manufactures are happy as hell to get the publicity… Well Pine Sol might question it a little bit. “I don’t know Jeremy. I am not sure we want people to drink our product. It is probably harmful and we aren’t sure we want to deal with numerous law suits.”

I say, fuck that! Slap the words “Drink Responsibly” on the bottle and you’re covered. It works for all the other liquor companies… “Hey! We aren’t responsible for him drinking himself to death. We clearly said to drink responsibly!”
Can you imagine the liquor companies just hoping that they will be mentioned in a song as some point? I know the makers of McCormick Vodka are just sitting there wondering “When are they gonna say something about us in a song?”

#BoomSnickle
@jremydeaton